You know those feelings of fear and self-doubt that come after you've made an impulsive decision that you can no longer take back? I feel those now.
Last night, J told me about this invitation to join a traverse of Mt. Ugo from Nueva Viscaya to Benguet for this weekend. And I said we should go without really knowing (or even caring to know) what I'm in for (other than cold weather and sore muscles). I figured, it's that same confidence and courage that brought me to where I am. And where I am now is a very happy place. There is no reason why I shouldn't heed it.
So I figured this trip to my budget and packed my bags the quickest way I could last night. But as the hours went by, those feelings of fear and self-doubt slowly began creeping in. Sneaky little things. Those are the same feelings I got just before my first ever hike, the one to Pico de Loro.
Maybe these feelings are good. Because I am scared, I am humbled. Because I am scared, all the more I am required to put my faith in something greater than me.
I am reminded of the first thought that lingered in my mind yesterday morning upon waking up, "surrender everything to God". It was as if an angel has spoken directly to my ears.
Surrender everything to God. Yes. This weekend, I will.
