building strength

The moment I heard Mel said that our class today would focus on building strength, I imagined myself wilting on my mat because I came to class knowing that I am not in my strongest. In fact, I have been feeling weak and wobbly on the mat for the past week. But I was determined to see through the entire 75 minutes of class and I always think that counts more than physical strength.

I've been practicing yoga for 11 weeks now. There are still times when I ask myself why I take the time to come to class especially when I'm feeling weak (like today) on the first 10 minutes on the mat and I feel like my body won't be able to hold up poses other than the savasana. The thing I like about yoga is that it always connects my mind to my body that at the end of the practice, I walk away from the mat with the answer. I take the effort to come to class because yoga directs my awareness inwards - to myself and to all the little places in my body that I do not normally pay attention to. The time I practice yoga is truly the only time I give wholly to myself because on the mat, I only have my body to control and to listen to with nothing else to distract me.

I rarely allow myself to fall behind the usual pace of the class but today, I did. When I started to feel bad, I reminded myself that it's ok because being kind to my body is as important. And so I really liked how Mel said that our bodies are different every day. It is true for me. Sometimes I feel how much I have progressed from the first time I stepped on a mat at the studio; other times, I realize I still have so far to go. Writing about it now, I realize that moments like those - moments that build confidence and moments that put me back in my place - are important in keeping me grounded and staying humble so that I will always be kind to my body.

And because practicing yoga brings so much light in my life, I have made the commitment of practicing for a year. Here's to a great yoga year ahead!

After a while, it hits us that we're no longer singing the same tune.

I'm singing a different tune now and dancing to a different beat. 

And I love it.

enjoy getting there

Fresh from yoga class and feeling very tired but on the other end, feeling so great. TS taught us crow pose (bakasana) today. I wasn't able to do it but it's ok.

The practice today consisted of hip openers and core work. I'm happy to share that I am now able to reach the mat while in forward fold with my legs straight. Amazing! I find it immensely fascinating how the body improves its flexibility just with constant practice. Teachers have been telling us it was going to happen and I've read countless articles on how yoga has the capability to increase the body's flexibility. I have held on to the hope that yoga can do my body good. And yet it's still surprising when it happens to you - those wonderful moments when your body debunks your idea of the range of motions it can only do.

I have to admit that I am intimidated with bakasana. I have yet to build my confidence and trust that I have enough strength to hold this pose. I like the last moments of practice when Tara reminded us that it's ok if we didn't get to do the pose, that there was no judging in the studio. The mat does not judge. The thing that I appreciated the most is when TS said that we should remind ourselves to enjoy the journey of getting to a point where we find enough strength and confidence in ourselves to hold the bakasana. I liked that the most I guess because that's where I am in my yoga journey. While a part of me really wanted to do the pose (that up until a 30 minutes ago, I've been practicing at home), I must remind myself that perhaps it is not yet time but in time, I will get there. Sometimes I tend to be fixated on achieving something that I forget how equally satisfying not to rush and just enjoy as things unfold. For now, it should be enough that I was able to reach the mat while in forward fold and that I was able to do half a bakasana (in preparation for the pose). Little victories that are not often celebrated but victories nonetheless that contribute to the greater goal.

My key takeaway in today's class is to always remember to enjoy the journey of getting there. So even though I wasn't able to do the bakasana just yet, I feel great because I know my body will slowly work its way to that someday.