namaste

I didn't expect to find myself on a mat tonight as I just came from practice last night; my hamstrings feel tender reminding me of the week that went by without attending a single yoga class as I was hopping on and off planes to work in key cities in Visayas and Mindanao.

In my first month of practicing yoga in Urban Ashram Manila, I have learned that practices that focus on the core are one of the most challenging.We worked on our core last night with planks and variations of it too challenging to count. Our teacher last night was Tara. I love her teaching style and her aura. I like how she reminds us to focus on our form - bringing our attention to parts of our bodies that we neglect to focus on while holding a pose - in that nurturing way that reminds me of a caring mother. I suppose that is why I love sharing my practice with her. Last night's practice woke my body up and energized it. My tender hamstrings remind me of the good I did to my body last night.

I didn't plan on going to class today; I just wanted to rest. I wanted today to be just for myself. And I guess that is precisely why my feet took me to Urban Ashram. I needed a moment just for myself. A moment to bring awareness to every part of my body and to feel all those parts work together to remind me that I am whole. A moment to remind me of where I've been and more importantly, of who I am now. A moment to celebrate myself just for being.

Tonight, I dedicated my practice to myself as an act of gratitude for all the good and wonderful things I have done but have failed to recognize.

Our teacher tonight was N and I enjoyed her class. We did a lot of planks today and a series of twists, which I enjoyed the most. At one point during practice, I surprised myself finding that I am improving in my chaturanga. I still couldn't do it very well but I felt an improvement and I imagined giving myself a pat on the back. Initially, my upper arms were screaming at me - I have a weak upper body - but gradually, as my body warmed up, I felt better. I love how N encourages us to push ourselves. Her enthusiastic and encouraging tone gave me confidence many times during practice to do more and not be confined in the word "beginner". When my body reminded me that it could only do so much for now, I would stop and revert to a simpler pose. The two things I appreciated so much about myself tonight were:

1. That I tried.
2. That I listened to my body.

At the end of practice, I felt grateful for myself and for sharing my practice with N. Namaste, I said to myself, to N, and to everyone else in the room. I felt gratitude, happiness, and fulfillment with every syllable as I greeted myself in a foreign language that is slowly feeling familiar. 

Saying "thank you" is important. But I think that we often forget to recognize ourselves for the good we have done. I think we must practice expressing our gratitude to ourselves. I think thanking ourselves shows that we respect ourselves; saying "thank you" seals our gratefulness for our being.